A flicker in dark—
Not saving for tomorrow—
Light spills without end.
I first saw her on a night when the city hummed with its own quiet urgency. She stood at the edge of the platform, staring past the rails into something I couldn’t see. A streetlight flickered above her, casting uncertain shadows that stretched and recoiled. Her coat was too thin for the cold, and yet she stood still, unmoving, as if waiting for a train that would never come. There was something about her stance—the way she leaned into the night—that made me think she wasn’t the type to hold back. Not with words, not with love, not with life itself.
The Illusion of Holding Back
There’s always a whisper in the back of the mind: save your energy, your love, your effort for a better time. As if life is a finite ration, to be stretched thin over an unknown distance. But there are no guarantees, no assurances that waiting will bring greater rewards. What if the moment you hold back for never arrives? What if you dim your own brilliance in fear of running out?
The truth is, the more you give, the more you create. Love given is not love lost. Effort spent is not effort wasted. A star does not measure how much light it has left before it shines—it simply does.
The Rhythm of Consumption and Renewal
To burn brightly is not to burn out. It is to exist fully in the moment, to expend oneself not in reckless abandon, but in trust. Trust that tomorrow will bring more fuel, more light, more breath. The sky does not regret the stars that have faded—it simply makes room for new constellations.
To give yourself completely is not to lose yourself. It is to align with the nature of existence: the rise and fall of breath, the pulse of tides, the cycle of seasons. You will use yourself up today, and tomorrow, you will begin again.
Lessons from the Stars
- Shine Now – There is no perfect time to give yourself fully. There is only now.
- Do Not Fear Emptying – What you expend today will return in another form. Life replenishes itself.
- Burn Without Regret – Hesitation dims the light. Do not measure out your effort in teaspoons.
- Trust in Renewal – The body rests, the mind resets, the soul regenerates. You are not a finite resource.
- Become Your Own Constellation – Scatter yourself across the night, and see what patterns emerge.
There is beauty in impermanence, in the fleeting nature of light, time, and self. We are not meant to hoard our brightness, fearing depletion. Instead, we are meant to scatter ourselves like falling leaves, like distant stars, like ink bleeding across a page. To give fully, knowing that even when the flame dies, the warmth lingers. Life is not about preservation—it is about illumination.
Later that night, I saw her again, seated at a café window, staring at the empty street beyond. A single candle flickered on her table, its reflection trembling against the glass. She sipped from a cup, then set it down carefully, as if she had all the time in the world. And maybe she did. Maybe she understood something the rest of us didn’t—that life isn’t about saving yourself for better times, but about using yourself up completely, so that when you’re gone, the glow remains.
And so she sat there, in the flickering candlelight, in the space between presence and departure, the same way we all do—burning, dimming, and then, somehow, glowing again.
life 
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