A drop of ink—
Once spilled, it stains everything it touches.
“So, when are you going to…?”
It always comes in different forms.
Sometimes it’s asked at a family gathering, between sips of wine and forced small talk.
Sometimes it’s a casual remark from an old friend, their voice lined with innocent curiosity.
Sometimes it’s a stranger, filling the silence with a question they don’t realize carries weight.
“So, when are you going to…?”
Finish that degree.
Get married.
Have kids.
Buy a house.
Figure it all out.
It’s a question disguised as concern, wrapped in the expectation that life follows a linear path, that we are all moving along the same well-lit highway with neatly marked exits.
But some of us took a detour. Some of us got lost. Some of us are still figuring out which direction is forward.
And in those moments, that question isn’t just a question.
It’s a spotlight on everything unfinished, everything uncertain, everything we haven’t quite answered for ourselves.
The Myth of Being “On Time”
There’s an unspoken pressure in life to keep up—to hit milestones on a timeline that no one remembers creating but everyone seems to follow.
- Graduate by 22.
- Find love by 25.
- Settle down by 30.
- Build a career, a home, a legacy—on time, on schedule, as expected.
But what happens when your story doesn’t fit neatly into the script?
When the years pass and the things you were supposed to have figured out still feel out of reach?
What if the love you thought would last didn’t?
What if the job you worked so hard for turned out to be a dead end?
What if your dreams changed halfway through, and now you’re back at the beginning?
Does that mean you’ve failed? That you’ve fallen behind? That you’re somehow less whole than those who followed the map?
Or does it just mean you’re living?
Wabi-Sabi and the Beauty of an Unfinished Life
Wabi-sabi teaches us that imperfection is not a flaw—it is a state of becoming.
A life in progress is not an incomplete life.
A road without a destination is still a journey.
A heart that is still searching is not empty—it is open.
There is no “late” in life. There is only now.
No missed deadlines, no wasted years, no expiration date on who you are meant to be.
Just a series of moments—some uncertain, some beautiful, all entirely yours.
Lessons from an Unwritten Chapter
- You are not behind. You are exactly where you need to be.
- Life is not a checklist—it is an unfolding.
- Some answers take longer to find, and that is okay.
- The only timeline that matters is your own.
- A life lived at your own pace is still a life well lived.
The Question, the Pause, the Answer That Doesn’t Need to Be Given
So the next time someone asks, “So, when are you going to…?”
I will smile.
Not because I have the answer. Not because I owe them one.
But because I finally understand that some questions do not need to be answered to be at peace with them.
life 
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