The Thing I Wish I Did More

There’s something I wish I could do more of every day.

It’s not about productivity. Not about crossing things off a list or pushing harder toward some finish line I can’t even see.

It’s quieter than that. Simpler.

I wish I looked up more.

Really looked. At the way light hits a windowpane. At strangers passing by, wrapped in their own invisible stories. At the sky when it decides to change colors without asking permission.

I wish I paused when I poured my coffee. Felt the warmth in my hands. Watched the steam curl into nothing. Let the silence stretch a little longer than I usually allow.

I wish I reached out more—sent the message, made the call, told someone, “I was just thinking of you.”

I wish I noticed more. Not just the big moments. But the ones that vanish unless you’re paying attention. A song you forgot you loved. The way someone laughs when they’re not thinking about how they sound. The feeling of your own breath in your chest, steady and unremarkable, and still—somehow—miraculous.

I wish I remembered that being alive isn’t just something you survive.

It’s something you notice.

Something you return to.

Something you look up for.

Even just for a moment.