A drop of ink—
Once spilled, it stains everything it touches.
The Conversation I Didn’t Want to Have
It happened at a dinner table, somewhere between polite laughter and the sound of forks scraping against porcelain.
The question arrived casually, slipped into the conversation like it was harmless. Like it was expected.
“So, when are you going to…?”
The words trailed off, but I knew how it ended.
When are you going to settle down?
When are you going to figure things out?
When are you going to catch up?
I swallowed, pushed a piece of food around my plate, pretended I didn’t hear it.
But the thing about a question like that is—it doesn’t just stay in the room. It follows you home. It echoes in quiet moments, in the stillness before sleep, in the reflection of a window late at night.
Because it isn’t just a question.
It’s a mirror.
A reminder of everything uncertain, everything unfinished. A spotlight on the parts of your life you haven’t yet figured out.
I wanted to answer. I wanted to explain. To say, I don’t know yet, but I’m trying. To say, I have my own timeline, my own way of moving through the world. To say, I am not lost, even if I am still searching.
But instead, I just smiled, took a sip of water, and let the moment pass.
The Myth of Being “On Time”
There’s an invisible clock that everyone seems to follow.
Graduate by this age. Love by this one. Stability, success, certainty—all in perfect sequence, all on schedule.
But what happens when your life unfolds differently? When the path you’re on doesn’t match the map others expect?
What if the love you thought would last didn’t?
What if the job you worked so hard for turned out to be the wrong one?
What if your dreams changed, and now you’re standing at a crossroads, wondering where to begin again?
Does that mean you’ve fallen behind? That you are somehow less whole than those who followed the script?
Or does it just mean you are living?
Wabi-Sabi and the Beauty of an Unfinished Life
Wabi-sabi teaches that imperfection is not a flaw—it is a state of becoming.
A life in progress is not an incomplete life.
A road without a destination is still a journey.
A heart that is still searching is not empty—it is open.
There is no “late” in life. There is only now.
No missed deadlines, no wasted years, no expiration date on who you are meant to be.
Just a series of moments—some uncertain, some beautiful, all entirely yours.
The Answer That Doesn’t Need to Be Given
That night, as I walked home, the question still lingered in my mind.
I thought about all the ways I could have answered it. The justifications, the explanations, the ways I could have made them understand.
But then I realized—I didn’t need to.
Some questions do not need to be answered. Some timelines do not need to be compared. Some lives do not need to be measured against anyone else’s.
So the next time someone asks, “When are you going to…?”
I will smile.
Not because I have the answer.
Not because I owe them one.
But because I finally understand that I don’t need one to be at peace.
life 