Watching that young couple up there—him with his onigiri, her with the custard crepe—I couldn’t help but think of a time when I stood in nearly the same spot. Different roof, different view, but the same city. Same soft hope.
I was about their age then. Maybe a little older. Living in a one-room apartment in Suginami with a view of a concrete wall and a laundry pole that squeaked in the wind. I used to eat conbini dinners on my balcony—if you could call that slab of concrete a balcony—and dream about making it. Though I didn’t quite know what “it” was yet. Just not… this. Not instant curry. Not a futon with a thin middle. Not checking my bank app before every convenience store purchase.
I remember once walking home from an interview that didn’t go anywhere. I stopped at a vending machine and bought a black coffee in a can because it felt like the kind of thing someone decisive would do. I drank it under a rusted streetlamp and thought, How do people survive this?
Life, I realized slowly, has edges. Invisible ones.
On both sides of the road you’re trying to walk, there’s a steep fall.
One side is apathy—the temptation to stop trying, to settle into the softness of giving up. It feels safe, at first. Like rest. But it’s a trap. A slow erosion of your spirit disguised as “being realistic.”
The other side is obsession—the kind of hunger that devours your present in the name of some imagined future. It promises success, meaning, freedom. But it comes at the cost of your health, your peace, your relationships. You can win, yes. But you can also burn out before the winning means anything.
You think the path forward is obvious.
But most days it’s like walking a tightrope in the fog.
There are no guardrails. No signs. Just your breath, your intention, your balance.
I’ve swayed toward both sides. Too tired to care. Too driven to rest.
I’ve lied to myself in both directions.
But here I am now. Still walking. A little slower. A little quieter. Less interested in proving anything, more curious about what it means to stay standing.
So when I saw that young man watching Shibuya race beneath him—with his girl by his side and his 100 yen rice ball in hand—I wanted to say:
Be careful with your hope. But don’t let go of it.
Stay on the road. Even when it disappears beneath you for a while.
Let love help you balance.
There’s no map. No guaranteed reward. But there’s something to be said for walking your own way and learning not to fall for the promises on either side.
Sometimes, that’s enough.
Sometimes, that’s what makes the difference.